ATTACHMENT PARENTING

Attachment parenting (AP). Now that’s a phrase that was not around when I was growing up. We never heard phrases about the “type” of parenting our parents were involved in.

I have witnessed AP from individuals but to be honest, I never knew there was a name for this type of parenting until recently. For those of you who are not familiar with AP, Attachment Parenting is a parenting style that consists of, well, parents and children being attached at the hip, or in many cases the papoose or boob.

These mothers literally “wear their babies”, constantly keeping them in a sling or papoose strapped to their body. There home consists of having a family bed where everyone (okay not everyone just the members of the household) sleep together and of course, breast feeding until your child tells you he doesn’t want to any more. Okay, that should be your first clue this isn’t a good idea. If a child has to TELL you he’s finished with breast milk well………..It’s kind of odd don’t you think to breast feed your 4 year old while they are playing a game on their iPad at the same time. I’m just saying.

I know that parents wear many hats as they raise their children but the biggest job a parent has is to prepare their child to become an adult, and that is a difficult road to travel when one is an attachment parent. AP has no line between where mom ends and the child begin, no boundaries, never learning to hear the word “no”. These children are fully dependent on their parents and unfortunately the parent’s won’t see the effects their type of parent has on their children until they are well into adolescents. These children miss out on a crucial point of development when raised by AP. Children need security of attachment not attachment parenting. They need to feel secure as they explore the world around them on their own. They can’t do this attached. They gain their mobility for a reason, to see the world around them, to experience things like eating dirt and playing in the sandbox, to learn to sleep in their own bed and know they will be okay. To experience a parent leaving for work knowing they will return at the end of the day.

I know there are many parents out there who wish their kids would stay babies, but, that’s not a reality. Their babies become toddlers, adolescents, teens and adults. Your job is to guide them into each phase of their lives to be able to handle any obstacle that comes their way. This can’t happen when they are attached at the hip.